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Parental Gaslighting: A Compassionate Approach to Recognizing and Responding to Parental Gaslighting

Leave a Comment / Parenting tips / iprofaulas

1. What is parental gaslighting: Understanding the impact of parental gaslighting Gaslighting is a harmful and manipulative form of psychological abuse. It occurs when someone, typically a parent, distorts the truth, denies reality, and undermines the victim’s perception of their own experiences. Gaslighting dynamics can have devastating effects on a child’s emotional well-being, self-esteem, and overall mental health. In this blog, we will explore the concept of gaslighting, provide examples of gaslighting behaviors, discuss how to respond and cope with gaslighting, and offer a compassionate approach to navigating the complexities of parental gaslighting. If you have ever wondered what gaslighting is, how it affects individuals, and how to address this form of abuse, this blog is for you. 2. Why do parents gaslight: The importance of a compassionate approach Understanding why people engage in gaslighting behavior is a crucial step toward addressing and tackling this form of abuse. It is essential to approach this topic with compassion and empathy, as it allows us to develop a deeper understanding of the underlying dynamics. Many factors contribute to someone’s inclination to gaslight others, particularly within a parent-child relationship. Often, individuals who engage in gaslighting behavior have experienced a history of abuse themselves, leading them to replicate harmful patterns within their own families. Additionally, people may gaslight as a means of maintaining control and power over others, as it allows them to manipulate and dominate their victims. However, it is important to remember that compassion does not excuse or condone gaslighting behaviors. Rather, it serves as a starting point for healing and intervention. By understanding the root causes and complexities associated with gaslighting, we can better address the issue with empathy and support, both for the victims and the perpetrators. In the following sections, we will delve deeper into the various reasons why people engage in gaslighting behavior and discuss how a compassionate approach can aid in recognizing and responding to parental gaslighting. 3. Reading between the lines: Recognizing signs of parental gaslighting Recognizing signs of parental gaslighting is essential in order to intervene and protect those who may be experiencing this form of abuse. Gaslighting can be subtle and difficult to identify, as it often involves manipulation and the distortion of reality. By learning to read between the lines, we can begin to recognize the signs and patterns that indicate gaslighting behavior. One common tactic used by gaslighting parents is the creation of doubt and confusion in their child’s mind. They may consistently undermine their child’s perception of reality, causing them to question their own thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Gaslighters may also employ tactics such as denial, deflection, and blame-shifting, making it challenging for the child to trust their own feelings and judgment. Another sign of parental gaslighting is the consistent invalidation of the child’s emotions. Gaslighting parents often dismiss their child’s feelings, making them believe that their emotions are wrong or overreactive. This invalidation can lead to a sense of shame and self-doubt in the child, further entrenching the gaslighting dynamic. It is also important to pay attention to the power dynamics within the parent-child relationship. Gaslighting parents often exert excessive control and dominance over their children, leaving them feeling powerless and dependent. This control can manifest in various ways, including isolating the child from supportive relationships, dictating their daily activities, and enforcing strict rules and punishments. However, it is crucial to approach the recognition of parental gaslighting with compassion and sensitivity. We must remember that the gaslighting parent may also be a victim of their own past traumas or psychological issues. By doing so, we can maintain a non-judgmental and understanding attitude towards both the child and the gaslighting parent. In the next section, we will explore effective strategies and responses to parental gaslighting, focusing on the importance of compassion and empathy in breaking the cycle of abuse. 4. How to respond to gaslighting: Responding to parental gaslighting with empathy When faced with parental gaslighting, it can be challenging to know how to respond effectively while maintaining compassion and empathy for both the child and the gaslighting parent. It is important to remember that the goal is to break the cycle of abuse and create a safe and healthy environment for the child. Here are some strategies for responding to parental gaslighting with empathy: 1. Validate the child’s experiences: The first step in responding to parental gaslighting is to validate the child’s emotions and experiences. If you are an adult, revisit your childhood and forgive yourself to learn certain feelings in wrong way. If you have a children, let them know that their feelings and perceptions are valid and important, and reassure them that they are not alone. 2. Create a safe space for open communication: Establish an environment where the child feels comfortable expressing themselves openly and honestly. Encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or retribution. A journal or a friend can help in teenagers and adults. 3. Provide unconditional support: Let the child know that you believe them and that you are there to support them unconditionally. Offer reassurance and empathy, and avoid questioning or doubting their experiences. For an adult, do a list what do you like to do, redo or try for the first time; check this list an focus in giving to yourself a gift time to time. 4. Encourage professional help: Gaslighting can have long-lasting psychological effects on the child. It is important to encourage them to seek professional help from therapists or counselors who specialize in abuse and trauma. These professionals can provide the necessary support and guidance to help the child heal and regain their sense of self. Remember: It’s NOT a money waste to seek for help. You can be much more productive if you are in better mental state. Invest in your mental health pay off in a long run. 5. Educate yourself and others: Take the time to educate yourself about gaslighting and its impact on children. Share this knowledge with

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ADHD epidemic: Is everyone nowadays ADHD or have a deep reason?

Leave a Comment / ADHD / iprofaulas

In today’s fast-paced world, it seems like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has become a catch-all term to describe any child who exhibits difficulty focusing or staying still. However, what if I told you that many cases of supposed ADHD are misdiagnosed? What if I told you that some of these symptoms could be better understood as a coping mechanism rather than a neurodevelopment disorder? Before we delve into this controversial topic, it’s essential to acknowledge that ADHD is a genuine condition that affects numerous individuals. However, it is equally important to recognize that misdiagnosis is a real concern, especially when some symptoms of ADHD could be confused with a trauma response. Understanding the differences between the two can shed light on potential misdiagnoses and lead to better treatment approaches. The 3F’s When we encounter stressful situations, our brain activates one of the three possible responses: fly, fight, or freeze. These responses are innate survival mechanisms that help us navigate threats. Children with a history of trauma or adverse experiences may exhibit symptoms that resemble those associated with ADHD. For instance, the “fly” response manifests as hyperactivity and impulsivity, while the “fight” response can lead to aggression and oppositional behavior. The “freeze” response may cause inattentiveness, zoning out, and daydreaming. It’s crucial to recognize that trauma can deeply impact a child’s behavior and attention span. Instead of hastily labeling them as having ADHD, we must consider the possibility that they are responding to their life experiences. By addressing the underlying trauma and providing appropriate support, we can help these children thrive. However, misdiagnosing ADHD is not solely the fault of medical professionals. Modern parenting practices and the increasing demands of our society play a significant role. Parents often find themselves with less time to spend with their children due to work commitments and the pressure to provide. In an attempt to protect their kids from the world’s problems, parents may inadvertently create a gap in emotional connection. This is where online gaming often steps in. In a world filled with virtual adventures and online communities, children find solace and escape from their daily struggles. While online gaming can be entertaining and offer temporary relief, it also has the potential to isolate children and hinder the development of crucial social skills. The constant engagement with screens replaces meaningful face-to-face interactions, making it harder for kids to navigate real-life relationships. So, what can we do as parents to differentiate between ADHD and a trauma response? How can we foster healthy coping mechanisms and ensure our children develop the necessary social skills for a well-rounded life? List of practical tips The reality is the rising number of ADHD diagnoses raises concerns about potential misdiagnoses. Understanding that some symptoms could be mistaken for trauma responses allows us to approach the issue with more nuance and empathy. By actively engaging in our children’s lives, promoting healthy coping mechanisms, and striking a balance between online and offline experiences, we can provide the support they need to thrive. Let’s remember that every child has their own story, and their behaviors should be viewed through a realistic lens. Together, we can create an environment that nurtures their emotional well-being and equips them with the tools to overcome life’s challenges, whether they are grappling with ADHD or responding to trauma. Check our free section

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Gaslighting in Education: How Educators Navigate Manipulation from Parents

Leave a Comment / Dyslexia / iprofaulas

In our daily lives, we often encounter people who try to deceive us or take advantage of us. Gaslighting, one of the most common forms of manipulation, can occur in various settings such as work, family, or even in education. Gaslighting often disguises itself as an apology, but it’s important to distinguish between a genuine apology and a manipulative one. A genuine apology acknowledges fault, whereas a gaslighting apology includes a “but” followed by a sentence that shifts blame onto you. This subtle manipulation can make you feel responsible for fixing the problem, even when you’re the victim. Over time, this erodes your confidence and makes you hesitant to share your concerns, whether it’s at work or in your personal relationships. In my working environment, gaslighting is unfortunately a constant occurrence, particularly from the parents of my students. As an educator, I am dedicated to implementing a variety of effective teaching techniques, including Constructivism, Education 4.0, Montessori, Problem-based learning, Multi-sensorial approaches, and Hyper imagery. These methodologies provide me with a diverse range of tools to facilitate natural and long-lasting learning experiences for my students. I firmly believe that education should go beyond mere memorization and regurgitation of information. After all, as a parent, you surely wouldn’t want your child to forget what they’ve learned within a few hours, rendering the time and money invested in their education futile. However, despite my repeated explanations, I often encounter parents who fail to comprehend my approach and instead attempt to place blame on me. They engage in relentless gaslighting, comparing my work to that of other schools or criticizing the curriculum I use, believing the fact a garage school how only teach few word is better than more than 15 years as a teacher, scientist and researcher as I am. The irony is that, upon examining their suggested school curriculum, I can see firsthand that it is subpar, built by individuals who possess little understanding of effective educational practices. I even did videos showing most of schools in Japan barely have 1 page of curriculum, when the English speaker countries has more than 40 pages for the same grade. It becomes evident that such a curriculum will undoubtedly hinder their child’s ability to learn and develop. To further support my arguments, I had over a hundred interviews in both Japanese eikawas and international schools, including renowned institutions. When I inquire about the methodologies employed or the presence of a syllabus and curriculum aligned with national guidelines, I am met with profound silence or nonsensical responses, when the interview abruptly ends. It astounds me that they expect me to adhere to such illogical practices. What frustrates me the most is their inability to comprehend that repetition alone is ineffective in today’s educational landscapes, specially with ADHD/ASD students.They insist on subscribing to a surface-level education system that focuses on memorizing a few words for school presentations, completely disregarding the kid’s needs for a special and well designed education. It feels as though I am speaking to a brick wall, as their resistance to understanding the importance of innovative methodologies and meaningful educational practices remains steadfast. The Impact: Gaslighting can have a profound impact on our well-being, causing emotional distress, self-doubt, and a loss of confidence. It undermines our ability to trust our own perceptions and judgments. The constant manipulation can create a toxic environment where we second-guess ourselves and become trapped in a cycle of self-blame. Strategies for Finding Balance: 1. Trust your instincts: If something feels off or manipulative, trust your gut. Gaslighting often relies on making you doubt your intuition. 2. Document incidents: Keep a record of instances where gaslighting occurs. This can help you recognize patterns and provide evidence if you need to address the issue later. 3. Seek support: Share your experiences with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. They can offer an objective perspective and provide emotional support. 4. Distance yourself emotionally from the occasion : when someone directly accuses you, imagine they are talking about a third person. Do not internalised bad feelings before to a real critical thinking Cultivating a Well-rounded Approach: 1. Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being by engaging in activities that promote relaxation, self-reflection, and self-compassion. 2. Build a strong support network: Surround yourself with positive, uplifting individuals who encourage and believe in you. 3. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with individuals who engage in gaslighting behavior. Communicate your expectations and consequences if those boundaries are crossed. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can negatively impact our mental health and relationships. Mistakes can not be justified with another mistakes.By avoiding accusatory language and embracing sincere apologies without double standards, we can create healthier dynamics within our families. Remember to be mindful of gaslighting techniques, understand the impact it can have on your well-being, and implement strategies to find a healthy balance. By prioritizing open communication, self-trust, and self-care, you can navigate gaslighting situations with greater confidence and resilience. Written by iProf EVO

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